Sleepless in... Oxford

In the past 2 weeks, I have slept through the night once.

Hate is a strong word, and I barely ever (if at all) use it. But, I am starting to hate insomnia.

Five years ago I never would have imagined that I would be doing what I'm doing now. I (rather idealistically) dreamt of pursuing a passion of mine that I've mentioned on here before. 

Music.

 I didn't really tell many people, but if I could have done anything, I wanted to be a singer/songwriter. 

My love of music, evident in me joining pretty much every band/choir at school, combined with a heart for writing made me consider giving this dream a real shot. But, despite that dream, I never followed it.

I knew I wasn't the best musician by far and that the music industry is hard. Expectations of me and what my life was to be like, were different. I was and am encouraged to use the different talents and strengths that I have. In the real world you have to make a living. And I was definitely not the next Adele much as she is wonderful- I absolutely love her in this video: 

So my ambitions changed course, I decided on geography, bizarre switch I know. And before you say it, I haven't touched a colouring pencil ... since A level*. 

My dreams are different now, I want to use the strengths and talents that I have to work for cases of injustice. I would love to get married, travel and hopefully have children one day. I still don't know the ins and outs of what is to come. (eep)

Our dreams change, and we have to try and use our gifts and passions in different ways. 

I say let's not get so cynical and so 'real' such that we stop having ideals. Things may not always turn out the way we thought, but when they don't we need to get back up, have a little laugh at ourselves/the whole situation, and try again.

I read this article the other day http://www2.amnesty.org.uk/blogs/press-release-me-let-me-go/malala-student-becomes-teacher. 

I believe that every young girl should have the opportunity (and protected right) of an education. That a woman's worth is based on more than that of her body image, or gendered identity. That is not to say that women are better than men or the same. 

We are different, but equal.

For now, my dreams for women's rights to be upheld globally and for equal opportunity are big. They play alot on my mind. I lose sleep (literally) over it.  

How can I go about being a woman with integrity, who advocates and campaigns for other people's dreams and ambitions? What qualifies me to do that? Am I doing the right thing?

For now, I hope that this blog and the marathon running help in this way. I hope it maybe nudges you readers to consider what your hopes and passions are, and encourages you to dream big. But also, that it makes you consider other people whose ambitions are marginalised and remain unknown, or seem impossible.

As I was walking through Oxford yesterday, I saw the absolute BEST thing. An old man and an old woman (who I assume were married) were both on mobility scooters, and racing down the middle of the street/road. It was incredibly sweet and hilarious! In the end, the woman won because (although unknown to her) the man slowed down at the end to let her win. 

Isn't life just brilliant? 

This week I'd gotten into a 'funk' where I was so tired and feeling exhausted, wanting to curl up into a ball at home and just do nothing for a whole day. But, yesterday, I just had to laugh. Dust myself off, stop pitying myself and get back into enjoying and dreaming about life. 

Give me 60 years and I promise to be someone who races down the streets on my lime green mobility scooter, dodging bicycles and laughing all the way. 

Let's go crazy, let's dream big.

Running Update:

• Zara and I have been gyming and running various distances this week which has been great. 
• Unfortunately, in the past couple of days I have developed tendonitis in my calves (which is something I've had before) which means running has turned quite painful, so rubbing excessive amounts of tiger balm into my legs has commenced. 
• My room also now smells of an apothecary. Lovely.
• Running a half marathon at Silverstone on 3rd March, so hopefully all is healed(ish) by then!!!

EXCITING NEWS:

My College JCR has kindly voted to give me £100 towards running the marathon, thank you to everyone who came and voted for the motion to be passed through. I am so overjoyed, you are wonderful!

As always, thank you for your donations, with the JCR money now only about £600 to go- yay!! My Justgiving Page

*I had to use colours to draw the demographic transition model, which I ended up getting wrong (oh the shame).