If I were a boy...

I have become a master at asking people out on dates... 

I'll let you just recover from that for a second.

...Ok. Let me explain.

Last term I joined a new pastorate at St Aldates which is the church I go to in Oxford. A pastorate is basically like a smaller group of lovely people who get together once a week, spend some time reading the bible, chatting through bits that we've read and what we've been challenged by. We then tend to head out to one of the various pubs dotted around Oxford and hang out. It's brilliant. 

I love pastorate, largely because it's a great place to discuss and share things openly and honestly, whilst getting to know some amazing people. Yet like all situations where you meet people new, sometimes it's nice to get to know people better one on one, for me it was particularly the girls that I've been praying with and got on well with. So, this term I started asking my new (girl) friends if they fancied meeting up for lunch/coffee/bingo...

Yep, it felt weirdly like asking them out on a date, but then it got me thinking, why shouldn't asking people out be this easy? 

Men, this is what I learnt, listen up. 

This is how you ask women out: 

"Oh hey, (insert girl's name here).

 How's it going?...good? brill, yeh I'm great as well, thank you.

I was just wondering, do you fancy going for a coffee/drink next week? It'd be great to hang out and catch up/get to know you properly

.... fab, can I get your number and we can text nearer the time?

... awesome." 

Then make sure you text her.

Simples.

If she says: do you mean just as friends? Go with that. See how the date pans out.

If she says no*. Then c'est la vie, plenty of more fish in the sea: The size of the sea.

I feel that there is a growing need for people to chill their beans and get to know each other better.

The 'dating game' freaks us out. I know. But I think sometimes we overthink it, overanalyse it and back out before we're even started. Then opportunities get missed.

No one likes being vulnerable, but why is vulnerability seen as such a weakness?

"Because you might get hurt" - Eep

'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.  - Alfred Lord Tennyson

I'm not saying that we should all go and pour our hearts out to boy/girls that we know, but to just have a bit more confidence that sometimes it's better to just give it a go than surround ourselves with safety blankets. Making excuses for never embarking on a relationship before anything has even started. Let's stop.

Sorry this rant/moan has come a bit out of the blue, it's just recently I've been in a few conversations where friends (girls and boys) have been pretty exasperated about this issue and so felt someone needed to say it. Lucky blog readers!

And guys, sorry this has largely been aimed at you, I don't intend this to be mean in anyway, but often women feel a bit awkward about asking men out. Even if it's just for coffee. And someone's got to do it.

Though, for what it's worth, I think women should totally go for it too if they want to.

Running update:

Zara and I went for an 8.5 mile run on Saturday, which was brilliant although very icy- thank you to the man who held the gate to the bridge open for about 5 minutes whilst we practically crawled up the hill of ice towards him...

A short 3-4 mile run set for tomorrow morning and then upping the training program in the next couple of weeks provided the hips stay ok!!

*Sad times, that's a bit harsh when you haven't really specified it's a date yet