Let us be grateful to people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom - Marcel Proust

Last week the Hunger Games was on Netflix, which if you haven't seen it, I definitely recommend it! For some reason, I have this thing where I like to watch the film first and then read the book. I know, I know that's completely the wrong order, no idea what's wrong with me (don't answer that). But in my defence, 99.9% of the time, the book is better than the film, surely your experience of the story only gets better! 

So naturally, after I'd watched it with my friend Tim, I read the Hunger Games trilogy. Phoa, it was a good read. Although, I completely think it ended wrong and that Katniss is flipping annoying and needs to develop some kind of emotional response which doesn't involve kissing people all the time, jeez woman.

Anyway, more to the point, in all of the books, a current theme is how Katniss would do anything to save her family, friends and two boys she's cares deeply about/is stringing along. And in that respect I can agree with Katniss. As I've written before, I'm pretty big on the whole relationships front and how important my family and close friends are to me.

This past week and a half, I've really been reminded about being grateful for them as well as the other things that I am blessed to have. In the light of that, here's another 'ten things to be thankful for' post.

1. My parents.

Last Friday. It was the end of term and I decided to do one last run around Oxford. A long run. 17 miles to be precise. And yay, I managed it fine. The only hiccup being that I did not take enough food or water to run constantly for 3 hours. Mistake. Cue 10 minutes after the run, my body starts going cold, shaky and I'm exhausted. I feel sick and very strange. Classic course of action, I ring mum (or Mama G as she is more commonly known) and she makes sure I eat something and drink food. By this time it's about 6.30pm on a Friday evening. An hour later, Mum and Dad arrive in Oxford, bringing a duvet to warm me up in, food, hot coffee and drive me home. They are amazing and incredible. Thank you!

2. Tearfund Emerging Influencers

Inspiring lot who I am so pleased to have met and share dreams and plans with. Lovely to see you on Sunday!

3. Oxford/Aldates lot. 

Monday evening saw me back in Oxford celebrating Aidan's birthday with a great group of people. Park end/ Lava, whichever you want to call it, was hilarious, let's do it again sometime.

4. Viva Forever.

It's not really a massive thing that I talk about, but I LOVE the Spice Girls and was a huge fan (wasn't everyone?) growing up. Mum took me to see Viva Forever on Tuesday evening. Absolutely amazing, we stood up and danced in the theatre at the end. 

Live the dream. 

5. The Dubliners/girls and home friends.

 The 'girls' and our Whatsapp group, hilarious skype sessions and Gem and Beks popping over tonight to say goodbye before I head to Tenerife. They're all wonderful, incredibly kind and always make me laugh. 

6. Justin Timberlake. I just love him.

7. The girls from Oxford I'm 'dating'/ going steady? I feel like this analogy has gone too far....

Anyway, lovely friends like Susie, Kellie, Charli etc etc. who send me funny pictures and texts, who are incredibly welcoming, we are uncannily similar and my goodness they know how to make me laugh.

8.  Eggs. They are so versatile and needed for all the dishes I'm attempting to learn this Easter. At the moment I'm attempting to perfect simple egg dishes. I've got scrambled and fried down, I'm working on poached.

9. Baths. I've never normally been a bath person, when you lay down and the sound of bubbles fizzing near your ears makes me shiver, it's such a strange sensation. Still, having had some sore leg muscles recently I've had a couple of awesome baths and am coming round to them being a 'thing' that I may get into.

10. Pinterest. I know, I've mentioned it before. I still love it and here's some more funny pics.

Running update:
Other than the 17 mile run on Friday, I did an 11 mile run on Tuesday morning and then a 3 mile run today. Tomorrow, I'm off to Tenerife on a geography fieldtrip for the week, but hopefully I shall be able to do some running over there. Not long before the Marathon countdown begins!!

Have a great week Xx

What's your inner pasta?

Imagine this...

It's a Friday night, you're about 8 years old. You've had dinner and practiced your spelling test words with Mum. You've counted up your change so that you have enough money to buy some jelly tots and a curly wurly when you head down to the newsagents with Dad the next morning. You're feeling pretty content because it's the weekend, and that's two whole days away from school. Next week you might even have a 'Mufti' day (best thing ever).

The family sit down in the lounge, you get the best position in the corner on the sofa. You may or may not have a hot chocolate- lets be honest, you probably will. The TV is switched on, and boom, that familiar intro busts out from the speakers. You all know it people, well unless you've been hiding under a rock since 1994 (Gutting).

 That's right:

Friends was the show to watch growing up. And what I love about it, is not just how funny all the characters are, but how wonderfully weird each of them are. 

See, I've recently started to realise and accept just how strange I am. 

What does that mean? Well, there are different things which I do or like, which apparently aren't normal... For instance:

I love the colour lime green, almost too much. 

My favourite number is 22, I despise the numbers 59 and 97- even writing them feels wrong.

I think in another life I would have braided hair, have awesome attitude and be called Shaniqua (or Shanay-nay). 

My favourite word at the moment is 'sassy' sometimes when I'm in a different mood it's 'edgy'.

I regularly think about what it would be like to have an afro and what I would keep in my hair if I did (pencils and lip balm are the most frequent choice).

I get freaked out by wrists, cows and geese. 

Pigeons seem to have a frequent habit of flying into my face (once when I was riding my bike to rowing, that was horrific). 

Every time I walk down a street I will go out of my way to not step on any cracks in the pavement.

I sometimes (pretty much always) in life, imagine I'm in a film, and what music would be playing in the background. Currently Norah Jones, Blink-182 and Journey are creating good soundtracks.

I have recently joked with my friends about forming an a cappella group like in Pitch Perfect, I'm actually being serious... 

I used to get really embarrassed by things, how awkward it is when you mess up big time and someone discovers you're a little bit insane. I always thought that I'd stop being embarrassed about things when I had kids, surely after childbirth and messy toddlers you just don't care anymore about what people think of you. But, then I realised that, that's a while away. 

Flipping Nora! I have to get over myself. I am weird, in a sense we're all a little bit odd (at least that's what I hold on to). And, you know what, I am ok with that.

A while ago my friend sent me this card, which I love:

Whatever pasta you are, you have to embrace it. The more that I have, the more I've realised just how fun it is. What's more, chances are, most of your friends are pretty crazy too. 

Before I came to uni, my friend Lam told me that I had to make sure I kept a filter on things I did and said before people got freaked out. Harsh, but fair. Yet, I think there comes a freedom with letting it all out. Even if you end up in awkward situations laughing at yourself, it's way more fun, believe me. If not, text me, I'll probably laugh at you too.

Have a delightful weekend my friends! 

Running Update

Last Sunday, Zara and I ran the Silverstone Half Marathon. We managed it in 2 hours 14 mins, which I am so proud of! 

When we lined up to start, it was pretty nerve-wracking, not only because we were about to run the furthest we've ever run, but also due to the fact that there were so many people who we'd have to dodge and weave around throughout the run. In other words, you're not just running a marathon, you're also battling an obstacle course of people in shark costumes, pushing prams (?!) and the one man who decided to run in just a pair of pink pants...

It was brilliant to run it together, I really enjoyed it, but sadly now it means I have to go it alone for the rest of the training over Easter- sad times.

Today I'm going for a 15 mile run. Hopefully Oxford will be kind to me!

6 weeks to go-Ah! Thank you for your donations: www.justgiving.com/jennygwyther

Bring it on

You know those weeks when everything that could possibly goes wrong, goes wrong? 

This week started off as one of those weeks. I wasn't sleeping, I hadn't managed to get out running as much as I wanted to and every deadline I had tapped me on the shoulder just to say hello. Bun deadlines.

All in all, I felt pretty pants.

What I normally do in this case, is shut myself off. Attempt a happy exterior whilst on the inside I'm an utter mess.

So exhausted, tired and in need of some home comforts, I headed to Essex to see my grandparents on Sunday. As it turned out, this was exactly what I needed. Afterwards, back in Chorleywood, I managed chat with my some of my closest girl friends. I am so thankful to both my family and friends, who know me incredibly well, can bring wise words to each situation and are just brilliant support. 

What a difference perspective makes!

Yet, coming back to Oxford, all my problems have not vanished. I still have lots to think about, make decisions about and process. But, I am assured that it is in the hard times that we are refined. We may be brought to the brink of our abilities, emotional capacities and patience, but I believe we always come out stronger in the times when we feel most weak.

You are stronger than you think.

Especially when things are getting a bit too much, it can often be hard to not feel isolated or lonely. Loneliness is something which has sometimes scared me. I know there are and will be times when I am alone in a given situation or period of time. But, rather than choose to dwell on what is missing, or rather, who is missing from our lives.

I wonder if it is time to turn around that view point? Focus on being the person that shows other people what they're missing. This doesn't mean you have to be happy and cheery all the time, but try and find the good in situations, laugh at how ridiculously messy life can be. At least, that's what I aspire to do. 

Every time I've walked through town this week I've listened to this

...and silently sung along. I may have looked totally cray, but believe me it makes you feel awesome!!!*

On a more practical level, if you just need something uplifting, head to pinterest and search through the humour section, these are my favourite:

Apologies to the other people in the Rad Cam who had to work whilst I chuckled to myself, clearly 'essay writing.'

Tomorrow Zara and I are running the Silverstone Half-marathon. I have been trying not think about it the whole week, but having carb-loaded like mental today, I'm actually pretty excited for it. And yep it is possible to eat too much pasta, feeling like the pillsbury dough man, but instead of poking my belly and me laughing, things would look a little different #stuffed #michelin(wo)man.

Crazy it seems after the week it's been, I feel assured, joyful and strong.

So, 13.1 miles- hit me with your best shot**

Have a great weekend friends!xx

Over half way on the fundraising, thank you so much to all who have donated. For anyone who wants to donate you do so here: www.justgiving.com/jennygwyther

*Before you say it, I know the song is talking about a broken relationship, and yes Kelly Clarkson has done better songs, but overlook that and focus on belting out the chorus-way to make you feel empowered...oh my poor flatmates.

**Check out Rock of Ages, it is brilliant! Me and my Pa absolutely love it!

...Actually, in that case, probably don't, we're not known for our good taste in films...

Sleepless in... Oxford

In the past 2 weeks, I have slept through the night once.

Hate is a strong word, and I barely ever (if at all) use it. But, I am starting to hate insomnia.

Five years ago I never would have imagined that I would be doing what I'm doing now. I (rather idealistically) dreamt of pursuing a passion of mine that I've mentioned on here before. 

Music.

 I didn't really tell many people, but if I could have done anything, I wanted to be a singer/songwriter. 

My love of music, evident in me joining pretty much every band/choir at school, combined with a heart for writing made me consider giving this dream a real shot. But, despite that dream, I never followed it.

I knew I wasn't the best musician by far and that the music industry is hard. Expectations of me and what my life was to be like, were different. I was and am encouraged to use the different talents and strengths that I have. In the real world you have to make a living. And I was definitely not the next Adele much as she is wonderful- I absolutely love her in this video: 

So my ambitions changed course, I decided on geography, bizarre switch I know. And before you say it, I haven't touched a colouring pencil ... since A level*. 

My dreams are different now, I want to use the strengths and talents that I have to work for cases of injustice. I would love to get married, travel and hopefully have children one day. I still don't know the ins and outs of what is to come. (eep)

Our dreams change, and we have to try and use our gifts and passions in different ways. 

I say let's not get so cynical and so 'real' such that we stop having ideals. Things may not always turn out the way we thought, but when they don't we need to get back up, have a little laugh at ourselves/the whole situation, and try again.

I read this article the other day http://www2.amnesty.org.uk/blogs/press-release-me-let-me-go/malala-student-becomes-teacher. 

I believe that every young girl should have the opportunity (and protected right) of an education. That a woman's worth is based on more than that of her body image, or gendered identity. That is not to say that women are better than men or the same. 

We are different, but equal.

For now, my dreams for women's rights to be upheld globally and for equal opportunity are big. They play alot on my mind. I lose sleep (literally) over it.  

How can I go about being a woman with integrity, who advocates and campaigns for other people's dreams and ambitions? What qualifies me to do that? Am I doing the right thing?

For now, I hope that this blog and the marathon running help in this way. I hope it maybe nudges you readers to consider what your hopes and passions are, and encourages you to dream big. But also, that it makes you consider other people whose ambitions are marginalised and remain unknown, or seem impossible.

As I was walking through Oxford yesterday, I saw the absolute BEST thing. An old man and an old woman (who I assume were married) were both on mobility scooters, and racing down the middle of the street/road. It was incredibly sweet and hilarious! In the end, the woman won because (although unknown to her) the man slowed down at the end to let her win. 

Isn't life just brilliant? 

This week I'd gotten into a 'funk' where I was so tired and feeling exhausted, wanting to curl up into a ball at home and just do nothing for a whole day. But, yesterday, I just had to laugh. Dust myself off, stop pitying myself and get back into enjoying and dreaming about life. 

Give me 60 years and I promise to be someone who races down the streets on my lime green mobility scooter, dodging bicycles and laughing all the way. 

Let's go crazy, let's dream big.

Running Update:

• Zara and I have been gyming and running various distances this week which has been great. 
• Unfortunately, in the past couple of days I have developed tendonitis in my calves (which is something I've had before) which means running has turned quite painful, so rubbing excessive amounts of tiger balm into my legs has commenced. 
• My room also now smells of an apothecary. Lovely.
• Running a half marathon at Silverstone on 3rd March, so hopefully all is healed(ish) by then!!!

EXCITING NEWS:

My College JCR has kindly voted to give me £100 towards running the marathon, thank you to everyone who came and voted for the motion to be passed through. I am so overjoyed, you are wonderful!

As always, thank you for your donations, with the JCR money now only about £600 to go- yay!! My Justgiving Page

*I had to use colours to draw the demographic transition model, which I ended up getting wrong (oh the shame).

Ten things I'm thankful for on Valentines Day

I know, I know. Single girl does a blogpost on Valentines Day, how predictable.

But, this is NOT a pity me I'm single so I'm going to stick it to 'the people' post. Rather, I have a small confession to make...

I LOVE Valentines day. There I said it.

And in the style of what my friend India does on her blogs (which are worth a read, she is hilarious and brilliant) I want to say thank you for ten things this Valentines Day.

1. Waking up to finding cute cupcakes for all the girls in our flat and getting chocolate in my pidge from friends who are too darn sweet.

2. Love hearts. My favourites (from the pack Zara gave me) being 'Funny Face' and 'Chase me.' 

3. My tutor - giving up marking for Lent. Does this mean I can stop writing the essays?... I'm gonna say yes. Thanks Lozza. Winning!!!

4. Chasing Zero- what a great charity to be involved with. Let's share the love on Valentine's day 

5. Hilarious and cute proposal videos that me and my friend Susie have been sending each other. (This includes Promposals.)

6. Lissie. She just did a cover of Fleetwood Mac's Go your own way. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OltcXMV-9Vk). 

-Quite 'breathy' towards the end, but still phoa!

7. Top Gun. I watched it for the first time last night. Big fan. Although, is it just me or is everyone really sweaty alot of the time?!

8. Flowers. Today I bought some funky tulips. They're my favourite (after Calla Lilies).

9. Skyping my Nana and Grandad. They never fail to make me laugh and are almost too cool to be grandparents. Case in point: Grandad used to fly planes and built one too, my Nana is part of the W.I. and can cook a mean Bolognaise, and they both have smartphones and facebook.

10. LENT. My Mum sent me a book in the post which focuses on what Lent is all about using the film Chocolat for analogies. i.e. This lent, instead of giving up chocolate I am watching it, reading about it and eating it. Sweet :)

So, yay for Valentines day! Whether you're with someone or not, I hope you spend today/this evening, celebrating love. 

And I know you shouldn't need a certain day to tell people you love them, and it's all commercialised yadda yadda yadda.... but it's here, it's a bit of fun, let your hair down and enjoy it! 

Lots of LOVE xxx

P.s. Went for a 12 mile run on Tuesday, and a 4 mile one today- we are on track. Yay!

As ever, thank you for all your donations:my Justgiving page

Anything could happen.

I wanted to be a singer. I wanted to be an inventor. I wanted to be a doctor. I wanted to be a fairy princess.

These were all the ideas I have had when I’ve thought about the future throughout my life, I’l let you guess which one dominated when I was this age:

We live a lot of our lives with uncertainty don’t we? Is this milk really gone off or can I risk it on my bowl of coco pops? What dissertation should I do? What will I be doing in 5 years time?etc.etc.

 Yikes, there is so much we do not know.

 This weekend, I headed home for my wonderful friend India’s birthday partay. It was great, and it was so lovely to hang out with 5 of my closest friends:

(It took 60 attempts, which is outrageous, to actually take a decent picture. We got carried away attempting to pull 'blue steel' poses...those photos are safely hidden)

However, the weekend was not without sadness. Nina (Cookie/Ninz) is heading to Australia tomorrow for 6 months!! Whilst I am so excited for her, I am sad that she is leaving*. 

Her trip to Sydney is exciting and full of promise, but it is also a trip where again there is uncertainty, future choices and decisions will have to be made when she gets there and as she continues her stay.

 I guess that’s something I’ve been thinking about as I’ve prepared to say goodbye.Uncertainty about the future (and the present) is scary. It leaves us in a place of insecurity, of questions without answers.

I contemplated whether or not to share this, but I've decided it is important for me to acknowledge out loud (or on the internet) and to process and challenge myself. So pardon my selfish motive.

Prepare yourself readers, it’s about to get personal.

I am happy with my life, and have so much joy in where I'm at. However, I am still uncertain about the future and sometimes this weirds me out. Particularly because...  

I have never been in a relationship.** 

And yes I do desire one. 

And yes I do like someone. (Believe me it came out of the blue for me too)

But no, I have no idea what he thinks - classic. 

So there you have it. And by the way, sometimes the uncertainty just sucks.

But (here comes the optimism), just as much as that uncertainty is scary and at times just plain annoying, I am learning that it can be a good thing. In some respects doesn't it just make 'the chase' or in general, life, that little bit more interesting? 

For the people that I've spoke to about this kind of thing (again largely girls as apparently I'm a babe magnet...), my challenge to you and to me is to enjoy the 'waiting period.' As part of my faith I believe that God knows the desires of my heart, loves me and has exciting, good plans for me. It is OK to like people. It is FINE if other people know that you like them (why are we so scared of that?!).

So I guess my challenge to myself and anyone else in similar scenarios is the following:

•  Do not let the things that happen define you. Stay your own person, live and laugh (often).
•  Know that men/women are people first, and men/women second. Get to know people without projecting a gender-related personality onto them. i.e. not all women love babies, I am personally scared of holding babies
• Chill your beans. Life is about more than whether he/she likes you. Find someone who makes you laugh and hang out with them. See where things go naturally. 

...If all else fails, maybe consider investing in this: 

As Avril Lavigne so rightly put it: ' Who knows what could happen? just do what you do, just keep on laughing' 

Oh, and go watch The Perks of Being a Wallflower, it's my new favourite.

[Running update:

• Zara and I are on a detox for the next 3 weeks. It is going to be brutal, but after the excesses of midway and too much carrot cake, it's necessary.
• Running 12 miles on Tuesday afternoon. Hoping it doesn't rain/snow!
• Gym sessions and more wretched blogilates with Cassie. Oy Vey.
• Justgiving page: www.justgiving.com/jennygwyther]

*If you don’t know Nina, I am sorry. You are missing out. She is amazing.

**Although technically I'm still engaged to my next door neighbour (huh?!) who gave me a plastic engagement ring in nursery school.... so if all else fails, I'll call him up and see if he remembers his commitment (awkward when he explains he doesn't and has a girlfriend, gutted).

'I like you, very much. Just as you are.'

I think in another world I would have been cool.

I would have been a real gangster/rapper with a 'so-solid' crew following me around watching my every move. I would be able to rock awesome clothes because I would be ahead of every trend and people would watch on in awe shouting 'hollaaa' or 'that gurrl be trippin' as I roamed the streets of Oxford in my Nike high tops.

Alas, that is not quite how I turned out. The fact that I just used the word 'Alas' is probably case in point that I am not particularly "fly." I was a bookworm, I watched Lord of the Rings (a bit too much) and managed to get my school choir to sing Avril Lavigne. I enjoyed studying (and still do). Much as I try not to be, I remain much more of a granny than a hipster.

Still, this is not meant to be a 'woe is me' post- although just so you know, I am pretending you're all gasping and saying reassuring words of 'Oh, but Jenny you are so cool...' (humour me)- rather, it's about a bit of a 'phoa! yay!' realisation I have had over the weekend.

Saturday started off well- my library fine got waived even though I was late by 15 minutes (note to all undergrads, Sue the librarian is a very nice lady, or at least easily sweetalked without the need to offer her chocolate, boom). The victory dance outside the RSL was followed by a speedy walk to G and Ds for a brilliant birthday breakfast for Zoe, fun with Worcester friends and a free chocolate muffin - winner.

Then onto Pastorate FUN-day. This could be a whole post in itself.

From our walk to Port Meadow, drinks at the Perch, girls shopping in town,ghosting, pizza in the evening, articulate, and general banter, I don't think I have laughed so much. It was a day filled with JOY. (Note to anyone wanting to take up 'ghosting,'  don't do it to much older people, it takes things a bit too far.)

I know I've blogged about pastorate before, but I have got a lot of love for it. Meeting people who make you laugh for almost a whole day, encourage you, have the same taste in music as you, can be silly and can be serious with you, is a rare and wonderful thing.

How great it is not be judged (well maybe only a little bit, sorry Kellie), but laugh hysterically when you realise William Hague wasn't actually at the Battle of Hastings or trying to describe a tennis racket starting with 'bigger yellow balls....'                                                                                           -[articulate]

Sunday we had more pastorate lovin. A phenomenal lunch together and then a great church service.

So what did I realise after this brilliant weekend? 

I am content. 

Don't get me wrong, there are still desires on my heart which I continue to hold hope for. Life would be easier with perfect vision, shorter reading lists, if you knew the person you fancied, fancied you straight back or there was fat-free chocolate. BUT for now, I am thankful for the joy that I have. 

I may not be perfect by a long shot, but, as Mark Darcy so wonderfully said to Bridget Jones, 'I like you, very much. Just as you are.'(You go Mark Darcy.) I am finding myself content in being just the way I am. I am so grateful that my friends and family seem to think the same.

In another world I may have been cooler, prettier and let's face it, probably taller. But Life is good. 

Let's enjoy the rest of the party.

Running update

• Zara and I ran 10 miles last week in 1 hour 44 mins! We had the most horrific time at the beginning traipsing through mud, dealing with pins and needles and jelly legs, but managed to push on through and end with a sprint around Worcester lake! Go team! 
• Gym on friday where it was so hot one of the guys almost took his top off, half the girls swooned and I decided to follow suit and just 'cross train' in my sports bra (only joking ma).
• Next week 11 miles and blogilates.com with Cassie the uber fit, love-her-but-hate-her instructor. My hips were all over the place this week and need more core stability- woo.

P.s.  In response to the messages/texts etc that last week's post received, I was tempted to go all out on more dating/boys/relationship related stuff, but don't want to over do it. Let's see what next week brings...

For now, all you single ladies out there, one word of advice. DON'T sing this to a man. In any context. Ever. Unless it's Ryan Gosling, then what have you got to lose?

[Although, do listen to White Horses, Unwritten or These Words. They are good.]

As always, thank you for any donations: my justgiving page